How to create a happy family? A happy family: how to build a relationship with your husband What family life is built on.

Relationship between parents and children

Children in a happy family also become happy, because everything is interconnected. When you are constantly given warmth and care, you yourself want to give it all in return. From such a house you will not want to run away or come too late. You will want to return there, because they will help you cope with any difficulties and problems.

For a child, a healthy and happy family means sincerity, calmness and devotion. It is important for him that actions are proved not only by words, but also by actions, because this is the building of trust. They want to hear advice that will help them solve their problems, and not just comments and dissatisfaction. And children also need compliments, because each of us loves with “ears”.

Kids most of all need approval and support, because dad and mom are authority for him. If they find time for him, help and listen, then various complexes are automatically excluded. It has already been proven that most problems with the psyche and self-esteem come from childhood. Usually such children grow up in families where people mocked him, abused bad habits, were constantly busy or often scolded.

In order to understand how to become a happy family, it is important to understand that a lot depends not only on you, but also on the other person. If you have already thought about how to make your family happy, then this is a great progress. You must understand what does not suit you and what things spoil your relationship. It is best to make a list on a paper sheet, for clarity.

Take more time to write down the causes of conflicts. Write down absolutely every little thing that you remember. Keep in mind that you need to indicate not only the guilt and mistakes of your loved one, but also your own. It is honesty that will show that you are also not an ideal person and the other is also having a hard time.

Then go through your list and try to get out of each situation with dignity. Act out the scene and come up with other words and expressions that will lead to peace, not war. You can do this in private, or you can offer such a game to your spouse or young man in advance.

Tell your soulmate that you dream of creating a happy family and ask his opinion. We assure you that you will be fully reciprocated. Sharing decisions and discussing problems will help you get each other's opinions. If you constantly cursed and fought, then after this conversation, everything will not change in one day. At first, you will control yourself, break down and apologize somewhere, but then you will be genuinely happy - on automatism.

Creating peace in the house is work that is rewarded sooner or later. There are several secrets and recipes for a happy family:

Think before voicing your emotions. Very often, all conflicts occur because of the little things that hurt the accumulated anger. It is not true that it is necessary to throw out anger at people, because you can get rid of it with the help of sports, a good movie or going to the attraction. And what does not suit you should be discussed at moments when you feel good.
It is easy to give unexpected gifts and arrange surprises. Absolutely does not require attachments a note with a declaration of love, secretly hidden in the pocket of the spouse. If there is no money for flowers, then sometimes you can pick the same dandelions to show that you care. And if you buy a bouquet, then your favorite, and not the one that is conveniently sold near the house. It is important to listen and note desires that are accidentally said aloud and try to fulfill them as much as possible.
No need to be afraid to give compliments, because a person blossoms from beautiful words.. Just do not confuse compliments with flattery, because it is immediately felt. The bottom line is that we often notice some details in a loved one that we like, but decide not to talk about them.
Praise your loved ones for what they do for you. When there is feedback, then there is a desire to repeat good deeds. Try to give thanks for the cooked food, for the things put away, for the fact that they just hold the door for you. Do not think that everyone owes you, even though people do it disinterestedly.
Keep up the passion with your loved one. Arrange romantic evenings, buy beautiful lingerie, send SMS with intimate words or even a photo if you have done this before. Warm up your feelings and don't think that there can't be something new in your life.
Take care of your home wardrobe. If you are already a family, this does not mean that you can relax as much as possible. After all, there are comfortable but beautiful clothes for the house. Why do we so often buy things for going out or for work, and wear T-shirts and tights on the sofa to the holes?
Look after yourself. No one talks about round-the-clock styling and luxurious makeup. You can look simple, but well-groomed. It is important to constantly maintain body hygiene, walk with clean hair, etc. Girls can make masks when a loved one is at work, so as not to scare him.
If you quarreled, then come up to put up first. Such a gesture means that you do not want to continue your conflict, but you love the person so much that you forget about pride. Believe me, such a step will definitely be appreciated.
Take an interest in business and the past day. Sometimes a person waits for you to ask him about it and does not tell himself. Unjustified expectations accumulate resentment, but it is easier not to generate them. Attention to the life of another is the basis of a happy family.
Ask each other for advice. This applies to important purchases and life situations. Keep in mind that if you are interested, then please follow this parting word, because otherwise there will be a reverse effect.
Show care in the little things. You can always close the door and not talk loudly on the phone when your loved one is sleeping. It is also elementary to simply clean his shoes at the same time as yours. There are a lot of similar moments and you are mistaken that others do not notice them.
Support your loved one when they feel bad. All people make mistakes and in these moments they feel especially depressed. Even if you disagree with the act of another, but the person himself realized his mistake, so you should not finish him off. By the way, it can be bad physically. Even with a regular flu, you want to feel a little support. It's very easy to make tea or bring a blanket when you really care about the person.
Sharing your thoughts, secrets is also necessary. What kind of happy family can we talk about if people do not know anything about each other?
Selfishness should be eradicated. This is an insanely bad quality that quickly ruins relationships. You need to understand that your loved one also has certain interests. Sometimes you can go to a movie genre that he likes or dine at a cafe that has your spouse's favorite dessert. It is best to agree that each of you is not against sometimes sacrificing something familiar.
Respect friends, acquaintances and relatives of your loved one. These are his native people and only he has the right to condemn them for something.

Myths about family happiness

Even in a happy family there may be some shortcomings, but usually they are associated with a personal attitude. Many people mistake other values for peace and quiet in the home. Consider the most popular myths:

Some believe that happy family relationships fall from the sky. People believe that the two are just lucky and they are only compatible in terms of horoscope, temperament or other stupid details. But there are no absolutely perfect people, and everyone has their own shortcomings and troubles. You create your own happiness.
People think they're just not made for families.. For example, they do not build relationships or they cannot conceive a child. One of the couple decides that such is the fate and loneliness of their destiny. However, everyone can have difficulties, and well-being must be earned by one's own efforts.
The opinion is also erroneous about an incomplete family that cannot be happy. Single parents raise their children well and love them for two. Even a lack of funds or the absence of a loved one cannot spoil relationships where they are strong and sincere. Marriage without children is another matter, but it may also have its own reasons. There are people who live their whole lives for themselves and are happy about it, because they initially discussed their desire. There are also those who cannot have a child, but love always helps them find a way out. Very often, with a sincere desire, miracles happen, and sometimes a couple decides to adopt.
Especially ridiculous is the myth of prosperity, without which a happy marriage is impossible.. Very often quarrels and conflicts occur in families where there is a lot of money. There, people could initially choose a partner not for love, but because of self-interest. Yes, finances matter in our time, but they are not the basis of everything. In a family where both partners love, everyone tries, and everyone sees the aspirations of the other.
Also, people believe that in a happy family there are no difficulties and disagreements.. These things happen to everyone, but the right attitude exists only in a happy union. A quarrel is not only insulting and humiliating each other, but also expressing one's thoughts and desires. Even a conflict can take place quite peacefully.

In fact, there are a lot of such myths and misconceptions. Sometimes people do not want to try and just change people, in the hope that they got the wrong person, and the ideal half is already somewhere nearby. Many should understand that we ourselves are the smiths of our own happiness, because it is not for nothing that this expression has existed for so many centuries.

Going to get married, almost every girl imagines a family life filled with happiness and mutual love. Unfortunately, for many, this turns out to be only an unattainable dream, and after a few months, the former lovers terminate their marriage, realizing that nothing good came of it. But there are couples who live happily together. What secret did they manage to find on what to build their family happiness?

Happy family life: how to build a marriage

Photo Shutterstock

Why do people get married

Probably, the basis of a happy marriage can be considered the goals and reasons why you decided to become a family and live together in sorrow and in joy. If we conduct a survey among the newlyweds who are on the threshold of the registry office, what influenced their decision, someone admits that “the age has come up”, someone will say: “All my friends are already married, but what’s worse for me?”, for someone then marriage will provide an opportunity to improve their financial situation, there are those who will name crazy love as a reason.

And few people are ready for what family life really is: for an equal partnership of two people who love and respect each other, who are ready to sacrifice themselves (but not their principles) for the sake of the other, some of their benefits. Not everyone is ready for the fact that family life is an art of diplomacy that will require many compromises from you. These are relationships where you are united by common goals, outlook on life and an equally serious attitude to your new responsibilities, your new life status.

How to build and maintain your family happiness

A family is a constant work, an effort that is made by both parties. At the same time, family happiness is not at all limited to the two of you, a happy family is relatives and friends, this is an interesting job, hobbies and each of the spouses has their own life. But at the same time, each of them, remaining a separate full-fledged personality, is always interested in the life and problems of the other, participates in them, rejoices and grieves with him, helps and is proud of the successes that his partner achieves.

Do not involve friends and relatives in solving family problems, do not discuss with them the shortcomings of your partner, real or imaginary, attracting them to your side

Be interesting to yourself and others, be pleased with yourself, direct your efforts to maintain mutual love and respect, make your home and your family that source of strength, warmth and confidence in love, to which it will always be pleasant to return, and happiness will settle in such a house.

See how diverse life is around us! Ups and downs replace each other, the cycle of events captures, and more and more we begin to appreciate the warm family hearth - the place where you can relax, not think about the problems and hustle and bustle of everyday life.

How is the hearth created? Who creates the weather in the house - a man or a woman? I think that everyone knows the answer to this question - it is the woman who forms the mood with which the man is happy to work for the benefit of the family, get the mammoth and bring it into the house. And the woman not only prepares dinner from the prey, but also shows how glad she is for this event, how she appreciates the miner, and how bad it would be for her without him. Yes, this is an almost perfect picture of family relationships, but, in general, it is quite achievable.

Everyone knows that the most important factor in family life is love and respect, but what exactly do these concepts include? First of all, acceptance of a partner with his thoughts and actions, even if they are not very clear.

After all, many simply do not want to admit that such a close and dear person can be different, think and feel differently. And even after reading a bunch of literature on the topic of Mars and Venus, they continue to equate their perception of the world and their partner. "I can do or say, so why can't he?" is a familiar phrase, isn't it? But to remake, retrain a partner is an extremely thankless task, almost Sisyphean labor. It is worth learning to hear each other, to study the feminine and masculine nature, differences in worldview.

A friend of mine sometimes complains that her husband can't do anything around the house. Well, yes, he is not a builder and not an electrician, but a lawyer. And why should he be able to do everything that the neighbor's plumber husband can do? But it is perhaps more difficult to live with such debt obligations than with cash loans, in principle it is impossible to fulfill them. And you just need to praise your spouse for what he does well, for what he is a professional in, and you can hire a specialist for current repairs.

By treating our partner with disdain, we make it clear that he is undesirable to us, and who likes to be an empty place in his own family? Let's understand to our chosen one that he is always dear, because without him there is happiness, of course, but not family ...

Give in, but stay yourself

Try to concede in small things, because it is known that then you can win in the main. Many books have been written about this, it is worth learning. But how do you draw the line between giving in and repressing your desires? It's so important to strike a balance. Only one thing can be advised here: try to talk with your partner as much as possible, discuss, express your point of view and try to hear his arguments.

Women, as a rule, are more emotional than men, more prone to hormonal surges. It is necessary to be aware of these peculiarities, because most often women tend to develop their claims to such a state that it seems to a man that if this is not the end of the world, then certainly the end of the relationship. And you just need to learn how to talk about your feelings and desires so that it is clear to him. He will hear and will not have to shout or make a fuss. And a man must remember that he is dealing with a creature that speaks the language and try to listen.

Of course, in happy family formula many terms, it is both complex and simple. No wonder they say that all happy families are alike, there really is something in this. The ability to listen and hear a partner, the ability to empathize and give in, just love is the key to a happy union. And we wish your home only warm weather.

Sometimes it can be very difficult to create a happy, family life. Although it is not difficult to create a family, get married or get married, have a child or even more than one and that's it, a family is like a family. But not everything is as simple as it seems.

Let's just try take and deal how to create a happy family, what it is in general and who should still create that very happy family. We will not procrastinate this topic a lot, let's say the main thing. So to speak, what we have come to in our family.

love is …

I have always loved and love order and consistency. Of course, I don’t keep order everywhere, I can scatter things, scatter tools, and so on, my wife is not happy with this and, of course, swears for it.

But we will not start with this. What is the basis of a family in general, or rather, what is the reason for creating a family? Many will answer - Love, especially girls. Yes, of course, no doubt. But looking at my friends, those around me, the youth, I came to the conclusion that some are just afraid of love.

More precisely, not love as such, but they are afraid that love will not be real, then they will find themselves in a difficult situation and will suffer all their lives, as happened with my wife. But everything turned out to be fixable. Well, what is love?

Many philosophers will give many answers, but no one can say for sure what it is.. Everyone will describe and tell in their own way, many generally spend their whole lives studying this issue. Well, I'm not even going to try to find out.

The fact is that each and every one will understand what it is, just when you love for real, then you will be attracted to that person not only when it’s good, but also when it’s bad, at least for you, at least for both. It's really hard to explain.

philosopher Omar Khayyam

Especially since love exists not only between a man and a woman. The strongest love, at least for me, is for my own mother. And sometimes love for your family, sister or brother, children, mom or dad, and so on, can be the same - real, true. Or maybe it’s worth looking at just this love, studying it and understanding what love is?

Love is a strange thing for me. Sometimes when my spouse just infuriates me, she even becomes even sexier, all anger and hatred becomes an empty place.

But there is no need to be afraid that you will fall in love with the wrong person. Time will actually show what and how. But the main component of what you love is the consciousness that you want a family, children. That is, not just to be close to this person, admire his and her beauty, relax, and so on, but precisely the desire to create seven yu, with children, with problems, with relatives and so on.

And if you still don’t feel that you want to connect yourself with a loving person for the rest of your life, be one and raise children together, then there’s no point in reading further. It's just that I will continue to describe those things that will help you look at an already created family from the outside and see what can be corrected or added to yours, for example. Or, when creating a family, you simply understand what you don’t need to do.

If you are not happy at all right now, think about whether there is love between you. It is whether you love and whether you are loved. And already based on this, think about whether it is worth changing something or just starting all over again. Do you have the time and energy for this? From myself I will add - don't give up if you see at least one small gap - try and everything will work out. It took a few years for my family.

In past issues, we described simple little things that you can read.

The foundation of a happy family

First of all, figure out what means a happy family. What is it for you and for your companion. It must also be clearly understood that the vision of a happy family is different for you and your companion. Therefore, communication can only reveal what brings you together.

Only during good communication will you both understand what a happy family is for you, what you both want from life, from family, from each other. This is important and perhaps this is to start building a happy family. Set goals for yourself and your companion (companion) and go to this goal. Even in small steps, but you will come to it, the main thing is not to give up and respect each other.

happy family drawing

As a man, I can write a lot here about what a woman should do. But stop, it turns out the men do not have to do anything? Here are some people who say that I earn money, my head is full of work, but I want to go fishing or take up a car, or I need to do repairs .... So what, I'll say. Have you guys thought about what your wife is doing?

Take even cooking, cleaning, pay attention to your husband, take care of yourself, raise children and still have time to work in the same way and many other little things. Titanic work, in my opinion.

To build a happy family, both the wife and the husband need to work on family relationships.

Who is the head in this house? Who has the last word? I am still one of those times when such questions radically there was only one answer - a man. Yes, this is correct in my opinion, a man is stronger and a family should be behind him.

But the man himself must be a man. He must stand as a mountain for his family, for his wife, for his children. He must be not only physically selenium, but also smart. This is what modern men lack, not all of course. In order for the husband to have the last word, he must clearly understand what the problem is. And as accurately and correctly as possible to understand everything. so as not to harm the family.

Recently, I often see that some young guys simply do not understand that in the future a family should stand behind them. Now they are only for themselves, and the rest don't care, to put it mildly. Certainly a lack of education, many will say. But what about the parents themselves?

Yes, you do not need to always rely on the state, teachers or anyone else! Parents should convey to the child what is important in his future life, what school and teachers will never give. But this is a separate topic, something carried me aside. But I think I got the point.

And here, in my opinion, what needs to be done first of all in order to get a happy family:

Study your partner and let him study you. It is necessary that both spouses get to know each other very closely.
Learn the logic of thinking both men and women. The Lord not only created us different by gender, but our thinking is different. And this must be understood. You can learn about women, but about men.
To change something there must be desire, motivation. Motivate yourself and your loved ones.
trust each other, it's a happy family again.
Respect each other kids. Respect what your loved ones do and love to do.
Communicate with each other. And not just superficially, discussing pressing matters, but also communicate deeply. This will help you get to know each other better and you will understand each other.
Rejoice with each other and children. Spend more time together, travel, play, watch TV and so on. Go on vacation together at least once a year, somewhere. Grandma in the village does not count.
Start a good family tradition. It brings you closer.
Don't throw problems at each other. If there is a problem in the family, both are to blame, always.
Raise children together. Children take an example from you.
Fuel your relationship with gifts, surprises. Children also need to be happy.
There must be justice in all matters. You need to know the sense of proportion.

Remember! The family is a single whole, you are together, which means that your joy and sorrow are common. So you need to make more fun.

And a few more tips

I just liked the phrase, to the point

Once, I heard a parable, or whatever it is called, well, in general, a story that greatly cheered me up and made me move. Briefly: There was once a wise man. He was the wisest and all people went to him for advice. This made him happy and proud.

But one day he found out that there was another wise man, also very wise, and people began to go to him too. The first sage thought for a long time what to do so that people only go to him, how to show that the second sage is not so wise.

And he came up with. I will take it, says the first wise man, and I will catch a butterfly, I will cover it with my palms so that it is not visible. I’ll go up and ask the second wise man what I have in my hands. He will answer that the butterfly, I will ask alive or dead. If a living woman says, I will press my palms a little, she will die. If she says she's dead, I'll just open my palms and she'll fly.

Then it turns out that the sage is wrong and people will stop trusting him. Well, the first sage comes to the second, in his hands is a butterfly. The first asks the second what is in his hands - the second says that the butterfly. To the second question - is she alive, the second wise man thought and answered: Everything is in your hands.

So dear reader: Everything is in your hands. As you want, so be it, the main thing is to go to your goal. If you want a happy family, be happy yourself and infect all your loved ones with happiness. There are many difficulties and obstacles on the way, but everything will work out, because everything is in your hands.

There is no clear plan for what needs to be done to have a happy family. In fact, what we wrote above is just what you need to pay attention to. All people are different. Something comes with experience. But there is no need to be afraid, you need to act, that's how you see fit, and do it.

That's all for now, write your comments, ask questions, good luck to you and be happy.

How to create a happy family life updated: May 25, 2019 by: Subbotin Pavel